Forgiveness Q&A – Forgiveness Part 10

Scripture: Matthew 18:21-35 (Click Link) 12 Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. 13 And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. 14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:12-15 NLT)

Q. Am I supposed to forgive everyone that offends or hurts me? I’ll be nothing but a walking doormat! (Mark 11:25)
A. Being unwilling to forgive blocks us from being able to receive God’s forgiveness. If you can’t forgive because it’s the right thing to do, forgive for your own well-being. Q. Am I supposed to pretend they didn’t do or say what they did or said? Am I supposed to pretend that I wasn’t hurt and angry…that what they did had no effect on me? Am I supposed to excuse what they did?
A. No! Forgiving isn’t “excusing”. Acknowledge the wrong, the hurt, the offence and then forgive, and release and be free. Q. How often do I have to forgive them? (Matthew 18:21-22)
A. How often do you need forgiveness? Q. What if they don’t repent and ask forgiveness? What if they keep doing it? What if they say they’ve done nothing wrong?
A. That is not the deciding factor. We must offer forgiveness whether they elect to receive it or not. Q. But what about the offender? Don’t they need to be taught a lesson? Shouldn’t I make sure they pay for the offence so they won’t do it again?
A. It’s God’s business to “teach them a lesson” or to bring judgment for the offense. Q. Do I have to go to everyone who has ever hurt me and say “I forgive you?” What if they don’t know they hurt me? What if they’ve died?
A. You only need to deal with situations that still trouble you. Rule of thumb: “If they don’t know, don’t go!” Besides, you may just be setting yourself up for more hurt. If you go expecting Teddy Bear hugs and sweetness, you may get self-justification and counter accusation. If they’ve died, be clear on what they did that hurt you, then speak forgiveness. If you can, visit their grave or a significant place and forgive them. Q. If I forgive them, do I have to subject myself to the same situation again?
A. Forgiving them doesn’t mean trusting them again.

Thanks for all these questions, friends. If you have other specific questions about forgiveness, send them to me in a reply to this email and I’ll prayerfully take a look at them. If I can answer helpfully, I’ll do another Q&A and send it out to all. Tomorrow completes the series with The Freedom of Forgiveness – Part 11. Prayer: Father, Thanks for the Grace of Forgiveness! We want to live our lives fully forgiven and fully forgiving! I pray for my friends who are reading this Forgiveness series that you will convict us, inspire us, and help us not to stop until we’re clear of sins and offenses, and free from guilt and shame toward you and free from offense and judgment toward others. For Jesus’ sake, Amen!

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